More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
jump out the window naked night went bad
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
