those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
