is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
