I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
