I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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