What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
