He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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