when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
