So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
