The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
