D3 body, D1 cock
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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