I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize