That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
love makes seman taste better
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
