I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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