that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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