So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize