I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
