Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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