How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
