Just cropdusted the office
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
