Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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