I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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