You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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