and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I could make wine with my vomit
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
