My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
