sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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