there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I need to calm my uterus...
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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