Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize