It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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