If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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