i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize