How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
