I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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