You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
