just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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