nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
