my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
What a fucking waste of an outfit
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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