I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
