My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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