i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
