after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
