literally had 100 drinks last night.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
