Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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