don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
