My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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