so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
