Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He shit in the fireplace
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
