I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
