he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
When are your genitals available?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
