i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
