Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
