he puts the penis in happiness.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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