My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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