My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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