So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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