Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
