I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
