ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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