Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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