so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
