Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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